There’s been a discussion about this before on the site but I wanted to give my opinion of exactly why I think bating with buddies is so good. Some readers might agree, others might not. This is just my opinion but I hope there will be some replies to it.

I’m 38 and I consider myself to be predominantly heterosexual. I’ve thought about sexuality quite a lot for many years and although a lot of other guys might not understand it I view myself as 90% straight and 10% gay, but the 10% is exclusively about masturbation.

It’s like a fetish for me, more than anything else.

My two friends and I masturbated together a lot after that first time. I still wank with both of them whenever we have the opportunity, but the first few experiences made me much more curious about it and I started looking for other opportunities to masturbate with other men.

I read something a few years ago about porn and the observation was made that almost all straight porn involving male performers focuses a lot on cock. It’s absolutely true. In my experience most men, irrespective of their sexuality, seem to enjoy the sight of a hard cock being pleasured and ejaculating, the more cum the better. It’s a fact that no man can ignore, it’s the elephant in the room. When you’re considering that and contemplating the sexual identities of men in general, you have to wonder if there’s something there that’s just being ignored.

Then you have to wonder whether men have been conditioned to ignore it. How could something so obvious, in sight for all to see, just never be discussed or questioned? My personal view of this is that most men are almost programmed to overlook it or create an excuse for it, because simply recognizing any slight little appreciation for the way another cock looks is considered “gay”. I’ve had discussions about this very thing with other very heterosexual friends and they are adamant that it’s about “imagining you’re them”, but I’m not convinced.

When I watch porn it’s entirely about the visual stimulation and I’m not really thinking about what it would be like to be the guy in the scenario, I know what it feels like and most porn of the last 20 years is pretty straightforward and ignores most of the pretext. Men aren’t buying themed VHS tapes with 2 hours of action set to a narrative in the way they used to have to do, we’re wanking off over 25 minute fuck scenes and skipping through the build-up to get to the action.

Every guy I have ever wanked with has skipped parts of videos, jumped through the entire set-up and story (if there is one) to get to the sight of pussy and cock.

I’ve always been a very fit and sporty guy. I played all kinds of sports when I was younger, I’ve always been into surfing, playing football on a local team, going to the gym, involved in athletics generally, so maybe I was just used to the banter in the locker room and showers? I’ve never been a particularly shy guy and most of my friends were confident and a few were quite shameless. The two friends I first wanked with when I was 19 were of the same attitude when it comes to hobbies and perhaps that’s why it wasn’t considered too unusual?

I guess it’s a common scenario. I was camping with my two friends not far from Porth Beach and we had a few beers and a smoke and before I knew it we were sitting around stroking our dicks while the sun went down, talking about girls we knew and the sex we’d had. There was a lot of banter, comments about each other’s dicks, comparing erections and sharing experiences and fantasies.

One of the most prominent memories of that first time was the finish when we each stood to cum, in unison. I recognized that the sight of my friends ejaculating was what really pushed me over the edge and although they would absolutely deny it I know that it was the anticipation and the actual sight of semen squirting from our cocks that had my friends shooting too. It did lead to a lot of introspection on my part, but I came to the conclusion that I have a fetish for male masturbation and I really enjoyed seeing their dicks and watching them cum.

My two friends and I masturbated together a lot after that first time. I still wank with both of them whenever we have the opportunity, but the first few experiences made me much more curious about it and I started looking for other opportunities to masturbate with other men.

Since that first experience I must have jerked off with a hundred or more different guys in various scenarios, some friends but mostly strangers. I met a guy in a public toilet who wanked me off and I felt another cock for the first time, which had me ejaculating almost instantly. I frotted for the first time with a 35-year-old guy I met at a pub one night and after flashing him my dick in the toilets we were leaving for somewhere to explore a little cock play. I let another guy edge my dick for me for almost an hour, ultimately making me erupt a gigantic cum load that resulted in a self facial. And I did all of this while being a “mostly straight” man, usually with a girlfriend who knew nothing about it.

A couple of the girls I’ve been with in the last couple of years have known, one of them was involved in threesomes with myself and another bate friend too, but most of the women I’ve dated since I was 19 have never needed to know about my masturbation enjoyment.

Why am I so into it?

Aside from the basic fetish of enjoying masturbation, enjoying the look of other cocks and wanting to see and feel another erection, there’s another level of friendship which can be achieved through sharing this with other men. Male friendships come with various levels of comfort. Some guys can’t imagine even being naked in front of a male friend while others are quite happy to show off their erection with a buddy. At the simplest level you automatically know which of these friendships is stronger. One friendship has reservations about basic things while the other friendship is more open and honest and comfortable.

Everyone has limitations and barriers, so there’s nothing wrong with the men who can’t even imagine showing a male friend their dick, I just think that’s a pretty strange attitude to have. I mean, it’s just a body part. Can you imagine if it was considered “taboo” to show an ankle? There are cultures around the world where women (it always seems to be women having to comply with rules instigated by their insecure men) are made to hide almost their entire bodies, and we rightly condemn it. But in the case of men hiding their members from other men, it’s even less understandable, and even less about any sexual urges a viewer might have, yet so many men voluntarily comply with this unwritten rule as though it’s entirely normal.

As a man you know what a penis looks like, you have one of your own, you know the guy next to you at the urinals has one, you know the ten guys in the gym locker room have their own. You know that some are long, some short, some thick, some thin. You know that some are circumcised while others aren’t. You know that some get rigidly stiff while others might get less hard. You know some guys cum giant loads while others might spurt just a little… none of this is a secret and none of it would be surprising to any man, yet we still hide these things about ourselves from the very people who would most understand it.

And that brings me to my final point about why masturbation with friends is so good.

Camaraderie. Bromance. “Best buddies”. These are the words that come to mind when I think about the experiences I’ve had with other men, and perhaps more specifically my male friends who are open to shared masturbation.

I know more about each of them then I’ve ever known about my own brother, or my dad. Other friends comment on how close I am with these friends, and we feel that too. There’s not much that could surprise us, once we’ve seen each other cum we’re automatically closer than even friends who’ve known each other for 20 years or more.

The comfort we have with each other is at a level most men probably won’t experience with their friends. I liken it to the way “frat bros” feel about each other meeting up again ten years after leaving college, you know they were that close before and you know why, it’s that kind of friendship.

I know that there is a handful of very close friends I could tell almost anything, things that other guys wouldn’t ever feel able to talk about with their closest buddies, and it’s because we’ve watched each other bating, shooting cum, felt each other’s hard erections on occasion and even made a buddy shoot off a load while laughing like maniacs about it all and having an amazing time in the process. There’s nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to this, not between me and my friends.
In the end, all of this can be viewed without even contemplating sexuality too much. We’re here for a limited time. We’re all adults. None of us is required to comply with the rules others adhere to about what is considered “appropriate” between male friends. I couldn’t care less what some guy somewhere else thinks about our level of friendship, but I can guarantee we’re enjoying our friendship more than he is with his buddies.