We’ve all met guys on-line and been barraged by endless questions including the dreaded “Into?” Often our answers will be deemed “wrong,” or our photos will be deemed not hot enough, and eventually either our interests or our bodies are deemed “not a match.” It can be seriously deflating to both our egos and our erections.

This is not how things tend to go for a bate date, as parameters are clear from the outset. Expectations are that we both love to masturbate, we both understand how fantastic our cocks can make us feel, and we’re looking for a buddy to share the experience. There need not be endless discussion about what we’re going to do or not do, because it’s clear. We’re going to grease up our dicks and edge the fuck out of them, just like we do when we’re alone.


Because the parameters of a bate date are clear, I find guys of all stripes are willing to meet. I have met bators both younger and older than I am. I’ve met twinks and I’ve met bears and everything in between. I’ve met guys who identify as straight, bi and gay, and guys with every kind of penis profile.  A lot of the criteria that we might use to disqualify guys from our sexual meet-ups disappears when the perception is “it’s just a bate date.” And once we’ve opened ourselves up to all types of men, the ones that turn out to be the “hottest” will often surprise us.


Masturbation is one of the most intimate activities there is. We all do it, and most of us do it every day if life allows. During sex with a partner, we are all performing at least a little bit and we are also concentrating to make sure both of us feel good. When we jerk off, we can focus on our own solo pleasure, and we can do all kinds of things to ourselves that we might feel embarrassed asking someone else to do, especially someone we’re meeting for the first time.

When you share your masturbation with another man, it can be incredibly freeing and deeply bonding.

When you share your masturbation with another man, it can be incredibly freeing and deeply bonding. Showing a buddy what you like to do when no one else is around is to expose yourself and to make yourself vulnerable. And while your bate brother is sitting next to you on the couch–legs spread, erection pulsing and leaking with precum as he shows you what he does when he’s alone–he’s vulnerable too. Sharing this experience is a massive turn-on. A successful bate date can feel more intimate and bonding than any other sexual act.


The implicit boundaries of a bate date are useful for the reasons I’ve laid out above. However, these boundaries need not constrict you. Sometimes a bate date might mean sitting on the couch and stroking together while looking at porn and nothing more. Which is damn fun. But allow yourself to explore all the things connecting with another bator can mean.

I’ve had bate dates where we’ve modeled each other’s underwear. I’ve had bate dates where a guy touched me with his foot and I almost came because it surprised me how much it turned me on. I’ve met guys who love to kneel in front of me and masturbate my penis right in front of their faces because they get off on seeing my cock so close up. I personally love the sight of my bate bud stroking both of our boners, stroke for stroke, one in each hand so that we’re feeling the same thing at the same time.

If you have a deep connection with a bate brother, possibilities are endless.

Now…writing this has made me want to masturbate. Who wants to get bonded?

What are some of your bate date experiences? Never been on one but want to explore? Drop in the comments below, we want to hear all about it.